Last Month I had been to Varanasi by keeping a simple thought of visiting some place to take a break from normal routine life, work pressure, and responsibilities which was becoming endless cycle. I had heard a lot about Varanasi from many acquaintances about old river banks, spiritual energy, sacred vibes, and a kind of peace that people feel there during there travel. But honestly I never had expectation of any transformation. I just went there to feel silence in surroundings.
At the age of 40 I was used to of reflecting me as most stable person on the planet at the front of work, family, responsibilities, social image. As people around always judge me on the base of the scale of my success. But in my inner me I always used to feel tiered from these kind of tries to remain stable and strong.
People around were always demanding at the part of work, responsibilities, daily checklists of targets, family expectations, financial planning, future security and bla bla bla…
I had all toys to play with, but playfulness and happiness was missing to play with them. I was used to of keep managing my life rather than living it in actual. Due to which I lost all inspiration to think on aforesaid.
One evening in Varanasi it was a time just before sunset and I went to to a river bank which was far from all crowded and noisy places and it was very peaceful place I found. This river bank was different from ordinary river banks where there was no sound of city types but it was place filled with soothing air. On the river side there were a lot golden grasses waving with air like the air is playing with some musical instrument with little music for me.
And there was also one old tree may be 100years old standing at river bank. Whose trunk was very thick and strong with long and dance branches with some red and Green leaves and the sunlight was making it more lively looking. Tree was seemed like that it was standing from ages and witnessing every surrounding alone what so ever was there. Tree also seemed like he had seen People coming, going, crying, shouting, laughing, in wound and with lots of ups and downs so it was not just a tree. And I went there towards it and decided to sit for sometime.
Sky is also changing its colour slowly from blue to yellow then yellow to orange and then orange to red.
All these colours were purely reflected by river like sky is taking bath in river ganga. Birds groups were going back home and wind speed is very slow like it is supporting birds for smooth transit or flying.
And now I got a feel like everything, every thought and my belief system got a sudden stop! With No phone, No calls, No deadlines, No pretending.
Only Me, River, Birds, Sunset and that old tree was watching us!
And from that point of time, everything got start changing within me.
When I saw Golden Grass – Air pushed it to bent, but it was not breaking
When I saw Birds – They were moving, and had no fear of fall
When I saw Old Tree – Faced a lot storms, many summers, Many Springs, Many time got broken by heavy rain, But still that tree sustained for many years with full strength, Peace, Rooted, which is still remaining! That tree had not survived by finding escape rather that tree decided to fight with all circumstances and survived with a lot earned patience.
When I saw Sun – Every day in evening this is getting finished and again next morning coming up with same brightness in spite of a lot fight with dark nights every day. “So, No one have fear as Every ending doesn’t mean that there will not be a possibility for new beginning – Sun is giving it’s evidence every day”
And here was the moment when Gaurav got his inner voice that every energy in universe is unstoppable, So don’t give-up until you are not in this universe. Death is also not a Full Stop.
Now I have a question for every one that why are we running for Uncertain Success, Stability, Responsibilities, Proof, Showing ourselves strong. Don’t you realy think that we including me had missed something precious i.e. PEACE.
I assumed constant Struggle as progress, Delay as failure, Silence as wekness and adulthood as proprietary burden.
But that Tree without spoken a single word had explained everything that Strength doesn’t mean that I should never bent, But true strength is stand/sustain rock staring even when you got bent by some pressure, manipulation, love, war or any exceptional situation without damaging self and others.
Then with the sink to this thought, air had blown through the gaps of Old Tree to my face. That was the moment of self realisation.
Outcome of self-realisation is –
Life is not about reaching somewhere but it is about constant transformation and the art of navigating during the transformation.
Every success without peace is again a stress.
Ambition without stillness is emptiness.
Creativity can only grow in a mind which getting rest from surrounding and is in peace.
Now I am able to see in flashback and realised that in young age I had dreams, ideas, creativity, vision and passion. Then due to sudden arrival of multiple situations, responsibilities and urgencies I got them buried by the time.
But now it is all returned back under this Tree again! That too with no Noice… like a kind of awakening after a long sleep.
I slowly whispered to me that –
“Shayad main kabhi lost tha hi nahi…
main bas khud ko sunne ke liye rukha hi nahi.”
Sun was half set now, the River got all golden, birds are gone and its about to enter in to dark night where rest was waiting for me with the never ending hope that everything will have a comeback and will keep transforming. So its not about “reach” but its about “transformation”. That too with no drama, No Filmi, No Loud, only Real, Deep and Personal.
From now hard work is just not enough for building a good future but will be build by wiser living, Yes leaving means leaving and not just the race of reaching out from one point to another.
And again that old tree witnessed me as well, today for all these realisations. Like that Tree helped many people like me to get this realised.
Even after my comeback, I Still reminding:
STRONG ROOTS ALWAYS GROW IN SILENCE!
– Written and Published by Gaurav Bhama
